Thank you for your post. The magnetic pull that you feel for your exOW is the exact reason that Dr. Harley states in his books and on his website that it is imperative that the OW/OM be removed from the life completely of the adulterer so that the adulterer's marriage can have a chance to be restored and healed.
This is something that my H and I are struggling with right now in our marriage. We are working on reconciliation and it is going very well, and my H has ended his personal relationship with the OW. It did not end at a true high, but instead he was starting to realize that it was not a healthy relationship. He would probably continue it however, if allowed to do so at this time, even though he wants to restore our marriage.
The OW is also his very capapble and talented business manager and has really been an asset to his company. I am having to decide if I can accept her continuing on as his business manager. My H and I have discussed if this would be possible. I think it might be, but we have many things to work out. I told him up front that if OW does continue on in a business relationship with him, I will leave the M immediately if I suspect or discover more deceit and betrayal from him. We will see.
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
