Yes, it is hard living w/someone going through a crisis of any sort. They will blame you for everything and yes, they will bring up things from the past over and over again. The best thing you can do is to listen and if you feel that you want to argue, walk away. To argue w/them is just fueling their emotional/anger fire and it justifies to them why they feel the way they do about us.
I'm sorry you are having to deal w/this and I think you did the right thing by leaving for a while. Hopefully she will settle down now that she's expressed herself to you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
