I wasn't looking to have that talk. So I didn't have anything planned which I see now worked against me. I'm referring to a time frame and what kind of space. My mistake was assuming he is like me which he Isn't. I would have taken that request and coupled it with what I had put that person through for so long and just backed off conpletely.
I put my cell ringer off at night and forgot to take it off this morning. He called and text almost a dozen time each. All within a 2 hour time frame btw. When I looked at my phone I was just I don't know, pissed off I guess.
He cancels on getting my car taken in to the mechanic which was his idea to begin with and isn't around for yet another weekend so that he can do whatever he wants. And I don't call or text him (though I do answer his texts). And yet when he decides to call I'm not allowed that same freedom?
So as I was thinking this he calls again. After he grills me on what I was doing and why I was ignoring him. I sighed and just blurted out "I need space".
He waa quiet then said his boss was calling him and he would call me later.
He text me a while later asking me how the kids are and what I was doing. i replied that they are fine and again said. I just need some space.
He replied "okay...have a wonderful day beautiful"
I did not reply.
2 hours later: "hey beautiful I hope you and the kids are enjoying your day"
I did not reply.
I fell asleep when the kids took a nap and he had called 4 times. Then he called again when I was talking to my neice. He left a VM saying he just wanted to check on us.
I answered the following call that came in a few minutes later.
He asked me why I was ignoring him. I told him that I had already told him I needed space and he said okay. I wasn't ignoring him per se.
He wanted to know what was going on. Why? Who? What? Over and over and over...finally.
Me: I need this. I have a lot to think about. I wanted something for years and now I am not so sure anymore. I need to find my path and that is difficult to do when we interact as much as we do. I just really need space.
Him: Okay. I was just kidding when I said you were ignoring me. As you can see I haven't really bothered you today. Just a few calls and texts checking on you and the kids. I want you to know I love you though. And I'll give you space.
Me: Thank you. I gotta go. Enjoy your night XF.
Him: You too love
Then an hour later a couple of texts. One saying he wants to see the kids when he drops off some money (child support which he refuses to say) and exchange our cars to take mine to the shop. I said it was fine.
Last text was asking me if I would like him to bring us food from my favorite restaurant by his place when he comes over. To just let him know whenever. He was going to bed. Wished me a good night. I did not reply.
Maybe it will sink in better over night and tomorrow I will actually get space.
He didn't seem too different except when he got quiet. And me? I feel numb to be honest. If I had someone I trust to watch my babies for a week I would chuck my phone and go away.
And thanks for saying that Ancaire. I look at myself and what I say and do and see myself messing up at every turn.
