He loves me he loves me not

[Zues126]

Zues, all my husband keeps saying is "I tried for years".

Looking back, i think he did after kids were born, but it was at a point I was just so angry and resentful and hormonal and sleep deprived.

Maybe this is Karma? Me experiencing with him what he was with me after kids were born. I never would have left though.

I know that you are right because he told me something along the lines that he needed to see if he could handle being separated from kids and I. I found this very insulting. It still bothers me because it showed that his needs surpassed the trauma it would have on the kids and the burden it placed on my parents. IT was also him making a decision without any discussion based on what he wanted to do as an individual instead of making a collaberative decision as a family (something that I felt frequently plagued our relationship and left me resentful)

[quote][/quote]

Suppose two people were in a horrible argument, and the husband said "I'm going for a drive to cool off, we can talk about this later", and the wife gets upset and says "No! We are going to finish talking about this right now!" and tries to block him from leaving. Husband pushes past her and drives away, and wife is crying by the door feeling she was abandoned and is unloved and that her husband doesn't care for her enough to hear her out. But the reality is that he was beyond his ability to cope, and him walking away to avoid saying something he'd regret was probably smart.

I'm not suggesting 6 months is the same as 6 hours. It isn't. But could you look at is as the same concept? Granted, it's a heck of a long time to take to 'cool down', and the pain caused by threatening the very marriage itself is extremely hurtful (like dropping the D work in an argument, only to scale of acting on it)...but then again, the pain caused over the years was also much larger proportional to what a couple typically argues about. So could it be like a big 10 year argument, where years 2-8 were the incident that upset him, year 9 was the blow up, and year 10 was the cooling down?

I don't know. Just kicking this around in my head. I often think though that the cycles are similar, just tougher to get through.

Just think of what the 'make up sex' could be like though