Here's another one my wife did (so many years/lifetimes ago). On a night out for something, it doesn't matter what. Take him to Victoria's Secret and have him pick out several items (# is up to you) he would like to see you in. Make sure that he knows that it is something he wants to see you in, even if it isn't your style. Once he has picked out a nice selection, take him to a changing room for a private fashion show. My W then let me pick the one I liked best and she purchased it to take home.
You may have to do some scouting since some VS stores have changing rooms and some just have alcoves with curtains to draw.
This one was fabulous when my W did this.
If you don't want to buy something, take your digital camera along and have your H take pictures of you in each outfit. Then he has a lasting record of the event!!!!!
Even I would like this! I do so love pretty things for me. (Incidentally, I wear thongs and other skimpy, filmy things for me and would never dream of giving them up!) I think several fantasies could be played out with this idea TrainGuy!
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
This weekend play out his most erotic fantasies. He needs to simply tell you what his fantasies are and then you two play them out. You will need to talk to him about this tonight because you may need to go shopping to get whatever necessary for the fantasy weekend to be complete. Hey guys, does it get any better than that? Its a "whatever trips your trigger weekend"! This might even prompt the poorest of communicators to communicate better.
Being way HD, if my W ever gave me a "fantasy" weekend like this I really question our ability to make it into the office on Monday. Maybe by Wednesday.
Thanks, tbone, that is a great suggestion! I don't think this weekend will be "THE fantasy island weekend", but we are planning some time alone for a few days within the near future. I suppose after I institute Operation: Smile tonight, H and I can chat about his erotic fantasies and I can put them in the planning stage.
You guys are wonderful! Thanks!!
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
Hey, LG, good to hear things are proceeding well for you.
A couple ideas.... First, any respectable sex toy boutique will have a little thing called a cock ring. They can explain it to you-- but I have been assured they can help with those "hide and seek" hard ons, especially the ones with the wee tiny batteries (like a watch battery).
You might want to check out adoringyou.com for some very cute little coupons... for acting out a fantasy, for a hard candy to be placed where you want to be licked, etc etc.
It's been a while, but I've always had good results with garters and stockings. Dunno why, it's so cliche, but it just seems to work. I favor wearing them under something pretty respectable and figuring a way for him to "discover" this in public.
Man, this makes me wish I had someone to wear stockings/buy toys/plan hot nights for/with. Deep sigh.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.
Hugs to you! {{{{{(((((SecondChances)))))}}}}} I, too, wish you had someone to play with .
Yes, things are proceeding very well for me. Thanks for your suggestions. I am interested in the ring you mention. Since I doubt I will ever walk voluntarily into a boutique that sells them, I will have to shop on line. If the ring has to be sized, I'll just get several in different sizes and colors. I just wonder if it would cause my H to become dependent on it in some way, though.
Garters and stockings sound fun. Even if it does nothing for him, I think I would like it for me. I have to be careful though and not scare my H. I have started undressing in front of him, flashing him, providing him the visuals that I have since learned HD men or even men in general like--something I did not do prior to reconciliation--and he didn't know what to make of it. He response was, "That doesn't bother you anymore???" I asked him if it bothered him and if he wanted me to stop doing it. He said, "No, but it is so different from the old you, I will need time to get used to it. You are such a completely different person now."
I wonder if the OW was like that and it is difficult for him to have me doing it now. I don't know. His response above kept me from trying Operation:Smile this past weekend. I think he might have fainted if I had. Maybe the OW pulled Operation:Smile on him. He is still processing me as the initiator of ML. That is a new major event in and of itself because I never used to initiate.
Oh well. Gots lots to work through, but should have fun trying.
LG
A blessed and happy marriage is a union of two forgivers and Him, because...a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
Hey LG, There is a good web site for adult toys, books, videos/DVD and just a good fun attitude about sex. "www.blowfish.com". They are a small company out of SF that does good stuff.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Please convince me that couples who have been through separations have it worse than us who seem to be in an endless loop of frustration. I occasionally say "it appears that couples in WAS situations seem to be in a better place when they post on the board". Am I wrong? There's a whole group of us who have been maintaining the peace and stability and are getting nowhere. Is it the "peace and stability" that prevents our SOs from changing? My C says it is.
I think a lot of us "reasonable folk" think that my posts about "shock and awe" are just nuts, but I've yet to have a compelling reason that it doesn't work. I don't know who to trust anymore. If I do have to unleash some "pain" into the relationship, I better be damn sure I administer it correctly.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Quote: Is it the "peace and stability" that prevents our SOs from changing? My C says it is.
So does your C advocate separation in your case? If so, look at your watch. It's time to find a new counselor. What a gamble to take! You could end up losing everything. Even if you had a big enough sample group of WAS's, I bet you'd find mixed results. But you don't even have that here. Most of the WAS situations here are people who have decided to give it another try. How many people AREN'T here, who ended up divorced?
Don't let your hotheaded nature control your thinking on this issue Dave. Go take a ride on a bumpy road and tenderize that groin for a while.
Hairdog, who knows the grass is greener over there because they have even more sh!t to spread on it.
I have had a WAW before and I will tell you it is no bed of roses. You talk about walking on egg shells now. The egg shells get really brittle when you have a WAS. If you aren't to the point in your R that you are willing to give it up for something new then I wouldn't throw that out there. Because there are some very bad things that can happen. Iwill tell you though that by walking away you can start some very serious change.
This might even prompt the poorest of communicators to communicate better.
I just wonder if it would cause my H to become dependent on it in some way, though.