Mutatio - I just had a thought when I was catching up...
Is it possible, that in your desire to fix yourself and correct past wrongs, that you've "unmanned" yourself a bit? I hope that makes sense.
Women are rarely attracted to men they see as weak. They want a leader, someone strong. If she walks all over you, and you just roll over and play dead when she does, that may be the problem.
It's possible to be a strong, silent man - in fact, that's the preferable course. But if she's seeing you as "weak", well - that's not good.
Stew on that for a bit, and let me know what you think?
