I chuckled as any age joke to a person in the midst of MLC does have a bit more sting to it and strikes me a touch funnier.... If you can't find some laughs here and there it will drive one mad ... Not MLC mad that would be crazy
I think your feeling cold vs detach is absolutely normal, no 2x4 here just for the fact it stings, we were the ones with them through all the trials and tribulations... Then they hit MLC and again, we stand .... To me it's the visual of the individual standing guard outside the tomb of the unknown soldier in the rain , just a thankless position but still one of tremendous honor
All we can do is be the best parent possible at this time, allow her to continue her journey
Thanks Caliguy, it seems like the only people who understand what we are doing by "standing" are the ones who are going thru it, like the ones on this board.
I took d18 and s14 to a movie last night - 'Hunger Games, Mockingjay Part2'. I am glad the series is over. Peeta is a really annoying character and I can't believe he is a lead character in this one also. But d18 wanted to see it...
I have s14 for the weekend, and he is doing the 15 hour catching up on sleep thing. D18 is going back to Boston on Monday.
I asked the kids how Mom's 50th bday went on Tuesday. D18 said they went out clothes shopping, and then Mom fell asleep at 7 pm - with no special celebration. I told them that when you get to 50 years of age, sometimes that happens.
I talked to my Mom today. They are planning on moving Dad to hospice care this week. The cancer is moving so quickly, especially in his lungs, and I just don't feel ready to deal with this.
W is a stinker. Yesterday she texted me asking if I wanted to have lunch with her on Wednesday. I did not respond. I started thinking about what she wants, what this could be for. I took a deep breath, and decided to wait before responding.
5 minutes later W texted me to add that d21 and d21's bf wanted to see us at this lunch. The lunch was set-up by d21. They must have some big announcement to make.
It's been cold here in Minnesota. Staid in all weekend with s14 and watched football. Nothing too exciting. But calm and safe.
Journaling - My Dad went into the ICU this morning with trouble breathing caused by the fast growing cancer in his lungs. I wanted to go see my Dad after lunch, as I had s14 with me and thought we could go together after he woke up (late sleeper).
But brother had different plans. B/c Dad was on a breathing tube, they wanted me there first thing in the morning, and then they would remove the breathing tube. This seemed too fast to me, but my brother and sister were the ones who had all of the information, so I moved as fast as we could.
S14 and I went over and it was a nice surprise to see 14 other family members there to give my Dad their love and support. The Pastor came and gave Dad 'The Commitment'/Final Rites, which was beautiful. The Pastor removed the tension in the room when he had us all join hands and sing 'Jesus Loves Me'.
The breathing tube was removed, and we expected Dad to pass away shortly after. But he is strong, still has his sharp mind, and he wasn't going to pass away today. One of his highlights was after they removed the tube they gave him ice cream to soothe his sore throat.
I kept W and kids updated with texts.
After it was clear Dad was doing well, I took s14 out for lunch then back to W's place. S14 was being quiet and stoic (just like my Dad!) W greeted us when we pulled up, and W came and gave me a hug saying "it's not right for us both to lose a parent in the past year" (W lost her Mom a year ago), and I agreed.
W then asked if I was going back to the hospital and I told her I was. W then asked me if I wanted her there with me. I told her "no".
Right now, as I am thinking and praying for my parents and my family, having W around is uncomfortable and an unwelcome distraction. I think om is still living with her, and I know I can't be around her b/c of this. This is why I did not want W at the hospital with me.
Tonight Dad got moved to a hospice care facility close to my parent's home. W loves my Dad, and they have known each other for over 20 years. So when W texted me asking if she could visit my Dad, I answered "of course" and gave her the hospice's address.
I gave my siblings a 'heads-up' that W may show up at the hospice at any time, so they should be prepared. Sister gave me a crazy face emoji response. This is a tough week.
PS thanks bttrfly for your prayers and kind words.
Wet, may you find as much strength and peace through this journey with your Dad as you need. So many good thoughts to you and your very special people.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your father. I lost my dad to the same thing in Jun 2012, stage 4 went from the lungs to the spine and spread quickly from there. Thing is, I was so thankful for the weekend I was able to make it back, I only regret not staying a bit longer. Spend as much time as you can, enjoy it... Put the W and the MLC crazy train on hold for now... There is a lot on your plate with all this... Hang in there I know it's brutal
Wet, I'm so sorry to read about your Dad's health, but I'm glad he got to have some ice cream. He will receive the best care in the hospice, and it is good that his family are around him, and good that your W will be able to visit him there too.
This is a tough time for you all and I agree, the best you can do is spend as much time as you are able with him and with your folks.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
