I won't give any DB'ing advice since I am a newb but I am worried about you. Can you do something physical to focus your energies else where (ie gym, run or even a walk)? Do you have a close friend or sibling you can talk to? I don't recall but do you see an IC? Maybe it is time to schedule an apt.
Try and stay busy is the only advice I can give.
It is funny you say 'I was happy 3 months ago'. I used to think along these lines as well. But I do not think I was really happy 3 months before BD. I was probably in a state of denial at that point/ Maybe a year before, but not 3 months.
