MB, have you heard of the Law of Attraction? We started a conversation about this on one of Ancaire's threads. I will probably not explain this well. But, the point is, that we attract things into our lives with our thoughts. If you think about your problems, you will "attract" your problems. If you think about your H with the OW, you will have more of "H and OW" in your life. So the trick is to think about things that you want. If you start to wonder about H and OW, replace it with a thought of something for you. Start small. Visualize yourself sleeping peacefully, walking down the street with confidence, your home filled with laughter. Try to "feel" these things, the peace, the joy, the confidence that accompanies the visualization. Try to "feel" like you have already achieved this. The more you do this, and the more specific you get, the more you will start to notice these things actually in your life.
I have been doing this for a while now, and I am VERY good at attracting material things into my life. Not as good with emotional things, because I get distracted by my emotions and my fears start to take over, but I am getting there. I have been visualizing myself with better posture and eye contact, working on developing a calm assertiveness. And it is working! I am also using this technique to help me sleep better and it is working.
Anyway, my point is, please find some way to take the focus off H and OW. The more you think about them, even if its a fun "revenge" fantasy, the more they will occupy your life. The more you think about yourself, your kids, a hobby, etc, the more that will occupy your life. You have more power than you realize.
