Just thought of another example of me dismissing W. Let me start by saying that I know if I start doing all these things right she will not come back. These are me pointing out issues I am seeing that was my doing which lead to the downfall of my M.

There was a few times she brought up trips. Money was always tight so they were tough. Specifics were a week in NYC. Or she wanted to go to Europe for our 5 yr anniversary.

There was never. You have to work more so we can go or why do we never have money to go. Te issue stemmed from my pessimistic out look on the cost of these things. If we saved and budgeted we could have done these things.

The NYC trip is a prime example. She would go to computer and start planning. Looking for deals for hotels. She found a nice B&B that was priced well. Excitedly she showed me and wanted me to sit with her. Help plan. Figure out if and how we could do this. And when.
I came over to look and said oh ya. That seems nice. And then go about my business or say something that would center around us not really having the money.
Pretty much just crapping on her excitement and plans to do something amazing together.

Like I said. I'm not going to plan a trip or anything. Just self realization of what I need to work on.

The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.