Your question on what to tell them. Tell them the truth. He's a No show and you don't know why he does this. Don't sugar coat it for them. My D's have cell phones and when my W upset them they let her know it. It didn't come from me.
The relationship your H has with his kids is his own. Don't make excuses for him either.
It's important your kids have the choice. I never once said a bad comment about my W to the D's. They came to their own conclusion.
Hi Irish, I too have been very careful to not say bad things about H, despite how tempting it is! As you say, I am sure they will draw their own conclusions eventually. I think S11 is already starting to see that he is not very important in H's life after just this short space of time.
Originally Posted By: IrishM
Let your son call him and ask where are you dad? Has he ever called him before BD. Don't coach your S either. Your son knows what to say. Your H will probably think you told your S to say certain things. Your H can think what he wants. It's on him.
No, S has never called H before BD, he had no need to really. H can't be contacted at work very easily and then if he wasn't at work he was at home with us. I have no doubt that H will think that I have put S up to it if I let him start calling. I am definitely going to though in light of today's events (more on that later).
Originally Posted By: IrishM
I feel your pain so much because I went through this in the beginning. The crying from the D's. It nearly killed me. W would do something mean or say something hurtfull. I'd go back to the house because the D's texted me saying help. I'd look at my W and ask her what does she think she is doing... I get a cold look and she'd say I was controlling the D's.
Your H like my W have to deal with it. Her loss, she's missed so much. Like your H. The day to day things and laughs.
I really don't know how they do it. I cant understand it. But then again I'm not crazy.
Yes, that is what I cannot fathom, that they are missing all those every day things that children do - those blink of an eye moments that are so endearing or cute or funny - and it doesn't bring them home. I can't understand it either, but, like you, I'm not crazy. There isn't a single thing I can think of that could happen that would make me up and leave and live without my children.
