Late to the game-2

[sandi2]

Getting intel is not for the faint of heart, is what Starsky says. It is not for everyone, and plenty of men rather not know the details. I have seen it in the LBW & the LBH what Txhubby is experiencing. Even if you are able to forgive the betrayer, the memories are still with you. That old saying about forgiving is forgetting is false. The A changes both spouses. Both of them have their own private hell to go through, plus the one they share as a couple. Piecing is so HARD and the time it takes to fully recover is awful.

I always have huge doubts about these LBH'S who claim they reconcile with their WW, where she shed a few tears and they have sex and seemingly pick up where they left off before the A. I don't buy it. They may go through a honeymoon phase, but eventually, they have to deal with the affects the A took on the MR. It simply is not that easy, I don't care how that person tries to convince the board (and we've had a few over the years).
The LBS can be so focused on just getting back their WS, they don't or can't deal with what kind of affect the lies, betrayal, and the A completely takes on them. After some time, it may be revealed just how deeply it has changed your life.

You are very hurt, and it is understandable how anyone would want to retaliate. I don't know the ages of your children, however, you probably have considered how any public outing of your WW & the OM will affect the kids. If not for them, you may not care what happened to her, IDK. Both of my adult children have experienced infidelity in their M's, and it is very difficult for me to keep my opinions to myself.. My grandchildren know in part, and yet, they love that parent and don't want to hear about the sins the parent has committed. They are minors, however, and if they were grown, they probably would know more. Anyway, as Starsky says, they deserve the truth, but at an age appropriate level.