2016 a New Year - getting out of my own fog

[Irish M]

I agree with you Peace. I am one that would of walked on fire to make my W happy. I always have. Knowing that she was unhappy or in pain or whatever she has... I would of been supportive of her 110%. Me letting her go and never giving her my thoughts about what she is doing is proof that i am supporting her still.

We just didn't get that chance to work on it together. I think that is what stings the most.

part of my 2016 work on myself is to delete all texts from W. I use to read them over and over. Analyzing them to see if she is showing signs of the old W. I did the deleting today. The bad part is I read the last message she sent to me again. Funny how they read differently after a few days.

It was the one with her saying she was unhappy in pain. Didn't know what to do or handle it. I wish I didn't read it. I got a bad feeling like maybe she wasn't happy after all. She didn't love me anymore etc. I forgot for one minute the things she said and did. How she treated the D's. How she cut off her old life for this new one. She left to find herself but instead found OM. All those memories flooded back in my heart and soul.

So I went back to thinking this unhappy sadness she showed me in the last text message was still script. I questioned once again if she was MLC or just normal.

Its funny how I can forget the bad in all this because of the loving memories of the Old W. I think that's what keeps the LBS standing. We hold on to the good of our relationship and what we built as a couple, family etc. Sad thing is the MLC holds onto the negative and the rewriting of history they created to justify what they are doing. Keeps them running.

So to bring me to this point , I deleted the texts. Its all script, why torture myself and make me question her MLC. She is in MLC and I wont bring myself down anymore analyzing her script.

Off to ski with the D's ... GAL smile and be grateful for everything else.

love and peace of mind to all
Irish