Hi Lostgirl. I am on Effexor, and take three 75mg pills each morning. My doc started me off at 37.5mg, then up to 75, then up to 125, then we finally hit 225mg, which seems to help me.

How has it changed me? It's got a few side effects, one of which is yawning, which I did anyway, because my job is kind of boring. One side effect is a bit of clenching of the jaw, but it seems to have abated. (I've been on Effexor for about 2.5 months.)

Sexual stuff. It definitely, initially, affected my libido. I stopped thinking about sex all the time, and only thought about it 23.5 hours a day. No, wait, I guess I thought about it maybe 1/4 as much as I used to. Physically, I could get an erection, but I definitely had to work at it, and I could ejaculate, but that was more difficult, too. These side effects lasted about 2 months, and really pissed me off. I even went to the doc and got a free 6 pill pack of Viagra, which I keep in my hope chest, right next to my Kama Sutra book, my jar of Astro-Glide lube, and my bottle of Geritol.

Now, I seem to be close to back to normal, where I think about sex a fair amount of the time, can get an erection fairly easily, and can ejaculate just like old times.

I did have an unfortunate event with my W when we were actually about to ML, and I lost my erection. However, this was during that first month or so of the AD, and, admittedly, there was a lot of other stuff going on. I.e., we hadn't had sex for about 4 months, she was not really "helping" me, if you know what I mean, and we had a sleeping baby in the room. Perhaps because of the AD and the nervousness of the semi-annual event, it ended awkwardly.

But, that said, I actually like Effexor, and the fact that I'm not as down as I used to be. I'm actually in a pretty good mood most of the time.

Will I wean myself off? Not without consulting my doctor. Getting off the ADs is a tricky prospect. You can't just quit taking them.

I had always heard that Wellbutrin had fewer sexual side effects than other ADs. Maybe that's for women, though. Or maybe he's just not at the right dose. It takes some time.

He should go to his doctor and get a free pack of Viagra, or Levitra, or Cialis. Have him use it by himself one day, just for a "test drive." I bet it will do the trick. Sometimes, you just need a confidence booster. You can get really hung up on things like this, ESPECIALLY when you are depressed.

I hope the two of you are able to work things out. I wish my W would get motivated like you have. Not only would I be a happy camper, it would make her life so much greater, too. If she could just let herself go....

Good luck, and thanks for your interest in my erection. It's nice to feel useful.