dday, rebooted

[dday]

Thanks guys! I love the support here. Tx, thanks a bunch. That makes me feel like I am definately on the right track. I am doing everything else pretty well, I just think about her too much. Fo, I remember the pushups! I know I obsess about this. It's the hardest/worst thing to go through, and I haven't been able to get it off my mind.

Fogg, I don't actively look for things by xw on fb. I just stumble across them sometimes. Things between us go well, never argue or anything. Neither of us are dating... I thought about it, but it's just trying to escape reality I think. I do see things going well, and my mind grabs that and runs with it. Then, a few days later and everything is the same or maybe took a step back, and I get bummed. Too much hope and too high of expectations are what kills me. Is that the same as being attached? May be 2 seperate issues I am dealing with. Not sure.

I need to get moving on the house building. I can get land bought and paperwork done before the ground thaws and be ready to move on it. S9,(it's his bday!) Is worried that when I buy ground, we can never reconcile. I told him that we can always sell it, if need be. These kids are pretty perceptive. Our (Xw now) home is a huge old farmhouse on 10 acres, with a big pond. An awesome place to raise boys, but expensive. I plan on building a somewhat smaller, much more efficient home on 1 or 2 acres. It will be less than half the cost and much more modern. So IF we r, we will have options for the future.