We become the authority figures in their lives, i.e., mom or dad, as they become teenagers or younger during crisis.
As for the groceries, I can't help but wonder if this is the type of food she may have eaten at a young girl since neither your or your children particularly care for the items.
It's too bad that she can't see the light of day just yet, but you sound like you are doing okay. Keep the focus on you and your children and allow your wife to live out her teenage years in order to grow up to become a mature woman.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
