Here again after 9 years and struggling 2

[Irish M]

Hi Inpain

Your question on what to tell them. Tell them the truth. He's a No show and you don't know why he does this. Don't sugar coat it for them. My D's have cell phones and when my W upset them they let her know it. It didn't come from me.

The relationship your H has with his kids is his own. Don't make excuses for him either.

It's important your kids have the choice. I never once said a bad comment about my W to the D's. They came to their own conclusion.

Let your son call him and ask where are you dad? Has he ever called him before BD. Don't coach your S either. Your son knows what to say.
Your H will probably think you told your S to say certain things. Your H can think what he wants. It's on him.

I feel your pain so much because I went through this in the beginning. The crying from the D's. It nearly killed me. W would do something mean or say something hurtfull. I'd go back to the house because the D's texted me saying help.
I'd look at my W and ask her what does she think she is doing... I get a cold look and she'd say I was controlling the D's.

Your H like my W have to deal with it. Her loss, she's missed so much. Like your H. The day to day things and laughs.

I really don't know how they do it. I cant understand it. But then again I'm not crazy.

Hugs
Irish