Here again after 9 years and struggling 2

[inpain]

You don't know if he cares or not. You can't mind read. It may just be the guilt inside him is too much so he avoids contact, it could that he is out and time got away from him, maybe he just decided not to come.

Don't text him asking him the why. He will see you as his mother. That the last person you want to be.

Thanks Irish. You're right, I definitely don't want to come across as being his mother. I wasn't thinking of texting to ask why though, just to ask if he is still coming. Or is that still like being his mother? I'm not very good at all this second guessing my every move stuff. It's tiring. Wish I could go back to doing and saying whatever I like.

This is where you need to protect yourself and your kids from H.

But how? How do I protect them from him doing this? They ask me every day, "Is Daddy coming round?" "When is Daddy coming round?" "Have you heard from Daddy?"

I'm not going to tell you how this crisis your H is in is tearing him apart. He's hurting, running. I use to wonder and worry about my W. Until I got to the point and said to myself that W is in this alone. I pulled myself out of all this and looked at me and my D's. I got stronger and my mind is clear.

Maybe I'm already half way there, because I don't care if this is tearing him apart or if he's hurting: he's chosen it. What I do care about is what it is doing to my children though, but it doesn't seem to be making me stronger or clearing my mind.