lol Ancaire, It's 99 Luftballoons. But of course I have no idea what a luftballoon is?
Rain, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Me too
Keep remembering they are not the people we fell in love with. Keep being awesome
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
I haven't watched it but i've been meaning to. Maybe I'll start binge watching it. Is it on Netflix, hulu, amazon? Gotta be somewhere.
Be Awesome has been my mantra through this. Having trouble being awesome today though.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Rain, I finally read all your posts. Sorry, have been in my own pity party lately.
The way I see is that you are going in circles. Your going dark and NC is not really what it is because you are having a lot of contact with him.
Please, do not take me wrong. I actually did the same thing at the beginning. But because I did what does not work, that I am telling you that it does not work.
If you read DB, you will see that this is just cheeseless tunnels and you are going nowhere with this.
You go dark, he react (maybe out of fear or God knows what) and then you are there, and he knows it. First, because he knows you.
The problem we have at the beginning is that we are craving for them to come back home and have our lives back together again. We want them to just turn around and say to us that they love us, that they won't hurt us again, and they will be beside us forever.
It may happen or may not. No one knows that answer.
The only thing you can do right now is not to change him because he is the only one that can do that. You need to set your goals, think how you can attract him back to you.
The DB way is that you need to take care after yourself, improve your life for what you think it is best for you. Change the things that you think will make you a better person.
And I understand that it is not very easy to do when you have three small kids. Unfortunately, it is the way to get yourself in a better place and maybe get his attention in the way.
Is it unfair? Yes it is very unfair that you are left with 3 kids on your own and need to move forward. But that is what it is for now and you may need to face it head's on.
By what you told us, I see that your F have a lot of control on your life. He pursue you, and then after bothering you for awhile, then you give in. He sees you sad and unhappy, and you are available for him.
Can you do it different? Some things you can. Like you can go to the supermarket while he spend time with the kiddos.
And what is this about the phone? Your friend is right to tell you to let go on that. What does it changes if you see the phone inside out when you know about his affair and him going online for girls? You didn't need to snoop on his phone, you know all the stuff already. So, don't even bother with the phone, that will be dealt later if you too reconcile.
Beautiful, you need a direction. I know it is hurting more then anything else. Probably more then giving birth. But you need to determine what works and what doesn't. You need to be sure that you won't hurt financially. You need to establish some parenting plan with him so you don't burn out.
Crying for him and wishing him back is one thing. But there is the practical side of life that you need to face it sooner then later.
What are your plans? Did you schedule a lawyer to find out what are your rights and what you can do if it comes legal? This is a boy that needs to grow up, so start giving him some responsibilities that only adults know better.
Do you know what you want if he comes back? Or what you want, or will do if he doesn't come back?
Start getting busy with your own life, I know you can do it even when you are hurting a lot.
Beautiful lyrics - not something you should be dwelling on at the moment, right?
How about some ABBA? Dancing Queen?
You know another song that never made sense to me? It was an 80's hit, in German, I think - something about 99 red balloons. That won't make you cry. Or Monster Mash!
Fight Song by Rachel Platten. I like that one. When I hear it, it makes me feel like I can be strong even if I don't want to.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
