I am just not sure how many men out there who think like this. I am finding that the 40+ year old male, is somewhat disillusioned by his experiences with his former wife/partner and seems somewhat resolved to being "true to himself"..."not changing for anyone"..."this is me, take or it leave it". For me these all seem very concrete positions. There is no flexibility for what intimate relationships call for. This is the starting place that some of these men are coming from. It feels so defended.
Funny, this is the same fear I have about women. I'd add "My kids will always come first", and "I don't need a man to be happy and won't put up with any crap".
I agree. What I bring to a relationship is very flexible. I have a job, children, hobbies, and a personality...so the structure of my life is somewhat shaped. But within that structure I would make my partner #1, and have no preconceived ideas on what to build with it. I'd want to build that together and merge lives with someone else's structure. That's what I think is funny about personal adds. I'm not all about listing what my life is. I'm like, 'let's discover what our life together could be'. And of course the structure could change a bit as well. I'll never be one of those people that never remarries and has a girlfriend where we keep our own houses. I'm all in or not interested.
At least we know we've still got people like us out there. And it adds value. When you ask yourself 'what do I bring', you can now answer 'an attitude that gives a real relationship a chance'. Some people might want a nice fling with an independent woman that passes herself off as hot stuff, to me I'd rather stab myself in the leg with a pen. I'll take real and gritty and ready to climb the mount everest of marriage anyday...
Respectfully yours,
Z
Where are these men who think like you, who want to DB the sh*t out of their marriage to get their wives back. Are they all married? Fully engaging in their commitment.
I guess my comments are just a reflection of my frustration of being lonely. I miss being part of a couple. I guess I miss feeling loved. I wonder if I would ever be enough inspiration for man to want to DB.
