The start of my happiness.

[- MB -]

Tyler,
I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. It will get easier with time. The best thing for you to do is stay busy. It will help keep your mind off of things. Nights are the hardest for me. I have been hanging out with family and friends which is something I never could do before because H is so controlling/jealous. Read the DR book and anything else you can get your hands on. I know you've heard it over and over, but you really need to start the 180 and no contact. It will help. And, come here for support whenever you need it. So many of us are (or were) right where you are right now. I'm no expert on here, but there are many that are and will chime in I'm sure. Just take care of yourself and stay busy. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT! That's my motto these days.

As for the texts, I would just ignore them for now. Don't respond at all. She KNOWS how you're doing. She SAW you break down in tears. She knows that she is ripping your heart out. If she cared that much, she would stop the affair and work on the commitments she made to YOU. Just ignore the texts, it will make her wonder what's going on with you. The more she thinks you're NOT interested, the more she will be.