"Instead I'd like to find a partner who can understand that is playing out on both sides of the coin, we're both right, we're both wrong, we're both flawed, and we need to somehow mix in time together and time apart, sexual binges and some patience when life gets in the way, a vacation where every day is spent joined at the hip and a vacation separate where H can hang with guy friends and W with girlfriends. But in the end both parties should be aware of each other's needs, fears, insecurities, and desires, and make them a priority."
I think I am this person or definitely becoming this person and I think this is the type of relationship that would suit me and I am looking for. I am just not sure how many men out there who think like this. I am finding that the 40+ year old male, is somewhat disillusioned by his experiences with his former wife/partner and seems somewhat resolved to being "true to himself"..."not changing for anyone"..."this is me, take or it leave it". For me these all seem very concrete positions. There is no flexibility for what intimate relationships call for. This is the starting place that some of these men are coming from. It feels so defended.
My natural disposition lends itself to a more fluid and kinder place. But is that my co-dependent thinking, everything can be resolved if we both just give and take. I guess I am disappointed with the above responses and because I no longer try a convince men there are different ways of relating and being in relationship, I just end up thinking that it must be me. I must be incredibly idealistic about people and relationships.
I am very confused. And I am not sure why.
Thanks for the post Zues. I know how you feel about me.
