SciDad - You are absolutely right. He does not act any way except friendly and nice when others are around. He saves Mr. Hateful for me alone, maybe so others will think I'm crazy. He cares a lot about what others think of him.
Your H and mine are so, so alike! My H is always so concerned about what others think of him. He ALWAYS has to look like Mr nice guy! Even our S has noticed that H treats him differently when around others to how he treats him at home and that makes me so sad for my S.
Originally Posted By: Ancaire
When he informed me about his relatives in Kansas seeing me on the news, his point of view was that I'd ruined his reputation. That's it. No concern for me, and my reputation at all. He's mad because they all know he's a cheater. That is his one and only concern.
I would say I can't believe it, except I can, sounds exactly like my H. When I discovered H's letter to OW (he thing that has done more damage to our M than anything else) a few years ago and stayed the night at my parent's house, all H was bothered about the next day was the fact that I'd told my parents!! He actually said that now I'd told them we couldn't stay together because his Mr nice guy image was in tatters!
Originally Posted By: Ancaire
I'm beginning to like him less and less. I still care, but this selfish side of him? I really don't care for it at all, and now I keep seeing shades of it in our past - it just wasn't such a big issue then. I hope he isn't lost permanently in this new persona.
This speaks so much to me too! I think it is inevitable that we will start to feel this way. Now that I have more than enough time to sit and ponder our past I look back and see so many selfish actions that I didn't even bat an eyelid to at the time. Now it is all becoming clear and I feel like a fool for not seeing my H for who he really is all those years ago.
