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Rain75 Offline OP
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NYG...I have had that same urge many times but none of the outcomes are anything that will helpful to me and 9 out of 10 of them will make me feel worse and put me back I don't know how many steps. So I just write on here or call someone or listen to music or watch a show until the urge passes.

And I like the premise of Sliding Doors. It follows her life if she finds out about the affair and if she doesn't. It's an english movie. I'm going to find it and watch it again smile


Rain (moi): 40
Ex Fiance: 39
3 kids
On/off again EA & PA
Last BD by ow 12/15
Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Joined: Dec 2015
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Rain75 Offline OP
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NYG im sorry your heart is hurting. I wish I could hug you. I know what you're saying. ((nyg))


Rain (moi): 40
Ex Fiance: 39
3 kids
On/off again EA & PA
Last BD by ow 12/15
Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 739
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Rain75 Offline OP
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Yes! Sliding Doors is on Netflix smile


Rain (moi): 40
Ex Fiance: 39
3 kids
On/off again EA & PA
Last BD by ow 12/15
Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 347
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Ancaire...your post is gold. I wish someone had been there to tell me that a year ago. Every time I started to pull away, H got mad and threatened me that he'd rush into the D or tell me how I was making it easy for him to end the M, and I jumped right back into my little box like the good little girl I was. I was always hoping if I did what he wanted, he'd see it and want me back. Ha! The things we have to learn the hard way... wink


Me: 43, Him: 40
Married: 21 years

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Rain, your H seems like he is still trying to mess with your head. What on earth is he playing at?

As you say, if he's that bothered why isn't he back home with his "beautiful family". Eugh, sometimes their two faced actions are enough to make me want to be sick! I'm not surprised you've had enough and don't want to jump back into that box. Think I might watch Sliding Doors too! Thanks for suggesting it!


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15
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Rain75 Offline OP
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AnnaB...I agree with you. But for myself as a newbie you so want to listen to all of the great advice the vets give out and yet if you are still in the thick of it or just at the start it is SO hard. Not only to follow it but to even hear it. Which is unfortunate since it really is the best thing for us to do.

Inpain, not sure. Maybe it's like Ancaire says and he is getting a little scared now. And you're welcome. I hope you like it. I just put the kids down for a nap and will be making popcorn (and sprinkling some Old Bay on it ;)) to watch it myself. smile

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Rain75 Offline OP
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So, Netflix is down LOL but it's okay. I'll get some laundry done and maybe start dinner a little early. Hopefully I can watch it later tonight.

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Rain75 Offline OP
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Tonight has been a little rough for me. I'm sad and missing him. I have to remind myself that the man I miss is MIA for now.

On the other hand I was glad that I was able to find the workout I used in my 20s on YouTube.

Baby steps. I hope I can sleep tonight.


Rain (moi): 40
Ex Fiance: 39
3 kids
On/off again EA & PA
Last BD by ow 12/15
Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 739
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Rain75 Offline OP
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"On My Own"
Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald

So many times
Said it was forever
Said our love would always be true
Something in my heart always knew
I'd be lying here beside you

On my own
On my own
On my own

So many promises never should be spoken
Now I know what loving you cost
Now we're up to talking divorce
And we weren't even married

On my own
Once again now
One more time
By myself

No one said it was easy
But it once was so easy
Well I believed in love
Now here I stand
I wonder why

I'm on my own
Why did it end this way
On my own
This wasn't how it was supposed to be
On my own
I wish that we could do it all again

So many times
I know I should have told you
Losing you it cut like a knife
You walked out and there went my life
I don't want to live without you

On my own
On my own
On my own

This wasn't how it was supposed to end
I wish that we could do it all again
I never dreamed I'd spend one night alone
On my own, I've got to find where I belong again
I've got to learn how to be strong again
I never dreamed I'd spend one night alone
By myself by myself

I've got to find out what was mine again
My heart is saying that it's my time again
And I have faith that I will shine again
I have faith in me

On my own
On my own
On my own

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Snap out of it, Rain!

Beautiful lyrics - not something you should be dwelling on at the moment, right?

How about some ABBA? Dancing Queen?

You know another song that never made sense to me? It was an 80's hit, in German, I think - something about 99 red balloons. That won't make you cry. Or Monster Mash!


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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