WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

So, WW got a IC session in yesterday, and sent me an invite at work to put her next session on the calendar. I'm happy for her.

It took a little bit of active thinking, but I didn't ask anything about her session. If she wants to talk about it, great - if not, it's her circus, her monkeys, right?

I still think she's NC with OM, but I'm not asking.
The less I ask, the less I converse with her, the more I keep thinking that I'm creating a space within me that can exist in life without her.

When you're not happy with yourself, you need others to find that happiness. If I can exist in my space, love my kids, and see the positives in my life and in the world, why do I need a wife that thinks she can crap all over me to get herself to feel better? I just don't need that. I exist on my own. I live my life for God, and Jesus is the love I desire now. I want to be more like Him.

I'm getting wiser in the ways of detachment. The next level of detachment is to show happiness in my life, regardless of how my wife acts. Happy or sad, disappointed with me, or wanting to spend every waking minute with me (ha! that's a pipe dream right now). Her resentment and disrespect for me runs SOOOO deep. I can't help her to drop those bags. She's got a life's worth of resentment in baggage, trailing her.