Hi ladies. What you're describing is pretty common. The WAS, in their wonderful selfish glory, are seemingly incapable of seeing the LBS as separate from themselves. They literally feel like they own us. We're an arm or a leg that is part of them.
They are capable of putting us in a box when needed, out of sight - out of mind...but still theirs. This is exactly why NC and LRT seem to be effective. Once they start feeling the loss of us, it gets their attention. Most don't want to lose us forever, they just want us to stay in our box - put away and safe until they're ready to be with us again. They are seemingly incapable of seeing us a separate and with a mind of our own.
When we start pulling away, doing our own thing? It threatens their ownership. It is an action that gets noticed. If you've been depressed, sad, happy with any bit of attention you get - well, his ownership is safe.
Suddenly start looking really good, going places, becoming cheerful, and having something of an air of mystery (you'll never know)...it makes them really curious, at first. Then it slowly starts driving them crazy - you can't do that!
The point is, yes. You can do that. You will do that. If they're not careful, they will lose you forever. This is why you should stop worrying about if you'll make them mad. So? You're taking your ownership back. None of the WAS really believe they could lose us. It really shakes them up when they begin to believe it's a real possibility.
Rain is doing the exact right thing, pulling away. Now, she's doing it for self-protection and isn't necessarily cheerful about it, but he feels her pulling away, and it's scaring him. I wish I could get this through every LBS's head. The minute you live your own life, not paying any attention AT ALL to the WAS - it gets noticed. Change causes a reaction.
Tears don't. Begging doesn't. Reasoning doesn't make a dent. Pulling away? Doing your own thing? Hah! They get really upset. What if you don't come back? What if you find someone else? They notice. It gets them thinking like no words from you will ever accomplish.
