Battles of the sexes?

[Zues126]

I think it was Sandi but it might have actually been Michelle that talked about the idea that one person's way of working on the M might not be the same as the others.

She spoke of how she was a talker, wanted to talk through problems, thought communication was the solution, wanted to go to counseling, put it on the table, be heard. Her H refused counseling, refused to talk about the issues. She took it as self-evident that mature couples talked through their issues so met his refusal as proof he was a bad husband, and their marriage wouldn't work because he wasn't working on it.

She later learned that her H was growing and working on the marriage- in his own way. And just because it wasn't her way, didn't make it any less real.

I know you get this. I just see this recur many times on these forums. It's easy to assume since we're on these forums we're on some road they aren't. But who knows?

Personally I would bet everything I can beg, borrow, or steal this isn't a move to get you to expose yourself legally. And while he has flip flopped on this one stance, there may be something we're missing that contributed...or maybe simply the priorities have changed, and what was once unaffordable as a luxury is now affordable as a necessity...I don't know.

In the end I think you have to celebrate your differences and know that he brings things you don't that compliment each other when at your best. Just be patient and see if you guys get there again. Good job Julie.