Last night

[kyrie]

DB an addict has its own slant and tactics.

I was advised by an abuse specialist counsellor to call on the addiction.

Your WH is an overt addict, what does this mean? You are aware he is addicted and it is possible he is still denying it to himself. If he were covert you would need to really dig to know.

So yes, calling him on the addiction is cutting your enabling. You will need to be safe and have dates times locations. You can even do this by email. This should be done matter of fact without anger or judgemental.

Addiction is illness.

Above all be safe.

V

Hey V... why do you say overt? I knew about it but that's because of, gulp (ducks for cover from cat04), snooping. I straight out asked him about it only 2 weeks ago. I suspect it has been there all along, or at least "periodically" (his word) for our whole marriage.
So, I've 'called him' on it... but it still continues.
When I got nerve up to ask directly, he answered mostly honestly. No remorse and I was very calm and mostly just listened.
He doesn't know that I know about the nudie bar.

FWIW, the DB counselor said he thinks I'm on the right track with some stuff (GAL, taking care of myself physically, focusing on my own issues). Dunno when we'll talk again.