Focus. You set the pace here. If you want his things out so you can move on, do it asap but if you are happy taking your time, do that. Don't dance to his tune. Make any communication friendly and upbeat but you keep control. How is being off work? Are you making it work for you or is it giving you more time to dwell on things? I find working is when I'm happiest and feel most in control but every one is different. Keep going, although you have some down days you also have made fantastic progress.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm enjoying being off work, to be honest. I was working flat out in December for 5 weeks, with only two days off, so to have some time to myself now is good. Plus I don't have to face the possibility of unexpected questions at work.
Tonight I bumped into a friend/work colleague of mine, who also works in the same industry as H.
She's someone I trust, and had been talking to her as things first started happening, back in October. I hadn't seen her for about 6 weeks, so I was telling her what had happened more recently.
She mentioned that she had seen him in passing recently, and that he looked absolutely dreadful.
I didn't ask where she was when she saw him, what day it was, what time of day it was, or in what way he looked dreadful. I just let that comment go past.
I'm not sure how I feel about knowing this though. Part of me feels so sorry for him, and part of me doesn't even recognise who he has become any more (he was always someone who was full of life, and had a spark about him). I don't know. I feel like I might be faring better that he is in this whole thing, even though it was his doing.
