PP- I had to laugh about the "followed me home" misreading because I was so uptight about going out with a guy i hardly even know. I texted all his info to my friend just so she knew where I was, who I was with, even gave her his phone # and workplace! I prefaced it with: if anything happens to me, here's my attackers info. I'm scared, I haven't been "single" in so long and I'm not as ballsy as I was when I was 21. Stranger danger!
I'm still home sick, so I've asked h to drop the dog with me and to reschedule our D chat. As much as I want to get it over with, I might be too emotional given the fact that I don't feel well.
Also, been reflecting on my feelings and going out with that guy confirmed that while I do feel ready to meet people, I'm in no way, shape, or form emotionally available for another guy. Yes, me and h have only been separated for 7 months, but we haven't had any connection since early 2014 (even including the physical connection) so yeah- I've been feeling lonely and want some intimate companionship (not just sex) but more so endearment and just having a partner.
And ya- definitely felt good to have someone feel interested in me. My self esteem went down the toilet not just at BD, but way before, so it feels good for someone to think I'm an interesting person, and a good, kind woman. This guy even asked me out to dinner next week, but I think I'm going to decline. Ha ha can dates be GAL activities in the name of DBing?
I've been feeling all out of sorts with h... Is it detachment or that I truly don't care anymore? A few months ago, I was still 1000% commited to not giving up. Have I? I really don't know. Well, I still have another DB coaching session so I booked it and hope it will do me well as I re-prep for the D convo. I guess that means that I have some gumption left in me and h.
Ok, clearly I'm all over the place!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
