Still learning AU Bob

[AU Bob]

I see in this fourm site a lot of shell shocked people. People desperate for the answers that can explain what has happened to them.
I was like that at the start and still seek answers now, i used to think about what I had done wrong and how i could have been more loving and a better husband, I beat myself up, and accepted most of the blame! It was all me.
My wife must have had issues with our marriage years before she left, we had differences of opinions with parenting styles and argued about it on many occations, i belive this is probably the main cause of fhe disharmony a d fhe resulting loss of love for me that she had. It got to the point sometimes that we would not talk. I now look back on it with regret not nesassarily because I was wrong, but because I could have handled it in a more understanding way, but that could be said of her too!
The other issue I had was jealosy. My wife is a young free spirit and still acts like a child sometimes. She is 46 but still acts like a teenager sometimes, she would flirt with my daughters boyfriends by saying what i thought were inapropriate comments, even my daughters were a bit anoyed about this sometimes. I used to protest sometimes but she felt it was just a bit of fun.
The other jealosy issue she had was she said I did not like her being around other men i did not know. This was partialy true, because i felt her flirtatious behaviour could get her into trouble with some men. I also think that my insecurity about wether i was good enough for her fueled this anxiety toward it as well. She also was not a person who would just give you a hug and say I love you much either. That always made me wonder as well in tbe whole 32 years i was with her i think it happened mabe a dosen times. I am not saying she did not love me, she just had an issue with expressing it. She used to say that i should already know it and should accept that, but I dont agree, i think every now and then there should be a gesture of how you love someone.
These are some of the things i have reflected on since she left, it has helped me to understand some of the things i need to work on, and some of the things that are ok and i should not have regrets about. I had issues but so did she.
The longer this drags on the more I realise wether we were actually compatible in the first place, we were very young and inexperianced.
The changes in society today have a lot to do with it as well, we have councilors advocating personal happiness at the expence of everything else. I think this is damaging, its impossible to be happy all the time when you have a family to look after. I think social media has a lot to do with it too. Facebook has broken a few marriages that I know of, old flames being found and caught up with are too tempting for some.
Reality TV shows so give a distorted and unrealistic view on whats acceptable in todays society. The lifestyle of these people is definately not normal but people aspire to have it fir themselves, its not good enough for a girl to have a normal handbag, it has to be a Kardashian one!
I spose what I am getting at is the world has changed quite a lot in the last few decades and the institution of marriage and long term relationships may be coming to an end, we may be moving into lifetimes that we have multiple relationships, how this wil work with children I don't know.
Leaving your spouse seems to be becoming increasingly popular. The stigma attached to it is evaporating, its becoming acceptable to just leave and not work on it. Remember you need to have personal happiness!