Okay...well this is all completely unexpected. I feel like I'm in kindergarten and have literally zero idea of what the right thing to do is.
Me: Around 6 is fine. And no I'm not afraid to talk to you. God how I would LOVE to talk to you. The real you. The you I hope and pray still exists in there somewhere. The you that I fell in love with. Not this you that is capable of hurting me worse than I ever would have believed possible. But no, I'm not afraid to talk to you, I just have very little desire to talk to this you. Me: I will set up a Google calendar that we can share access to for scheduling of all kids activities. WW: I understand. I must seem like the devil right now. I pray I will change. WW: I don't know how to use a Google calendar, but maybe the kids can teach me.
So...anyway...I don't believe a darn thing she is saying, and I feel like an idiot for saying that about loving her, though it is true...I really don't want to have to talk to her at 6. But I am going to the game tonight either way and I am not going to sit next to her.
Thank you Sandi and TxHubby for helping me out here. I know this is ridiculous...I'm 41 years old and can't even have a text conversation with my W...but...it is what it is I guess.
Don't feel stupid. You would know how to text your W but this isn't her. She's "possessed" right now for lack of a better term. I really hope she has at least one person trying to talk sense into her. Someone who can sink in the message that her behavior might ruin the best part of her life. Nobody has ever blown up their life through a MLC and said they were happier afterward. Her current path leads to a haunting lifelong regret for her and it frustrates you because you can't get that through to her. They really are a mindf*ck when they go through this. I had been married to my W for 26 years when she went nuts. I had no idea who she was.
If it makes you feel better, you're stronger right now than I was at the same point in the process when I was going through it. I got to a point where I could no longer live with her waffling. It became ultimatum time. You stop all this bullsh!t right now this very minute or we're done and when I walk, I walk for good. No looking back because I'll know I did everything I could to save this and you couldn't be reached.
You may get to that point. At that point she may choose a different life. You have to know that is a possibility. Accepting that gives you strength. You're going to be fine either way. You really are. You'd love for her to be part of your life and grow old together but you don't have to have that. You can move on, mourn the loss, get out there and find love again. It happens.
You'll wake up one morning and it'll click that you've reached your limit of limbo and are truly done. That could be the actual final end or your relationship or the moment that truly saves it. For me it saved it but I know I would have been fine either way. How long you guys keep doing this dance is completely up to you. You can't control her stupid behavior but you can control how long you'll put up with it.
