WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[trumpet]

She won't write the letter. Sees no need.
I've asked. Heck, I told her she needs to, if we want to work on the marriage.

She said yes on Sunday, and she meant it. Was it a moment of weakness for her? I consider it a moment out of the fog.

From all I've read from Sandi, she is back in the fog. She'll be there a while. Her telling me she was going to call the lawyer and call everything off, call the OM and end it, and call for a counselor was met by me with happiness. That turned into concern when I didn't see it happen.

I hate having to have the R talk, but it needed to be done. She's got to be accountable for what she said on Sunday. We hashed things out last night, but she still hasn't over-the-top willingly wanted to do anything.

For this, I think I've been played a bit.

She wants the conversation, the texts from me, the phone calls, since she's not talking to OM, but really, she just keeps trying me on for size.

I have told her 3 times this week that in order for US to reconcile, these things have to happen. She greets those requests with disrespect, including eye rolls, huffing, and trying to end the conversations with 'bye trumpet' or 'we're done talking'. 'You're treating me like a 2 year old!'.

This tells me her heart is still with OM, and we still need space. How much conversation do I do with her, when she's still struggling?

She started wearing her ring on Sunday. Hasn't taken it off. I continue to say hello in the morning, and talk with her when she gets home, esp. in front of the kids.

My expectations just don't meet up with reality. I'm focused on gaining patience and waiting it out, I just get concerned when my wife says she wants to begin to heal, and does a couple of things, but then doesn't want to talk about the relationship ('I'm tired of talking about it'), and doesn't do the things I've asked.

I did explicitly state she needs to delete OM from her phone and email, all pictures, so there is no temptation last night.

She won't write the letter - she's already heard from our pastor a month ago, on the first go-around, that the letter wasn't something worth doing. So, she can always bring up that.