Ugghhh, have I mentioned this is hard?

[sandi2]

I do not know what some of you think a transparency plan involves. Apparently there are some misunderstandings about having transparency during the time the WS is going through withdrawal from an A. If you, personally, have never gone through ending an A and going through the withdrawal stage, then you may not fully understand how transparency works as a support method for the WS, plus it helps the betrayed S to heal and began building trust again. It doesn't mean a couple must do this for the rest of their M, but when you consider what a healthy MR is...........would it not be a H & W who have no secret activities from each other? That is the point in helping the WS get back on track and able to have a healthy MR again. If they don't have some method of accountability, the temptation for the WS is too much, in most cases, and the poor betrayed S really has little to assure him/her that the WS is truly working to get the MR healthy again.

Not sure why BS would be not want it, or why anyone would compare it to an open marriage (?), or snooping..........neither of which has anything to do with transparency. Perhaps I am the one who misunderstood what was said.