My new thread 1

[Mona52]

Tyler, big day! You have got to try and find some excitement on the beginning of a new chapter. No more walking on egg shells.

I PROMISE they know more than you give them credit for. If you can make it through today, and really follow advice given here, they see it.

I understand when it feel hopeless. The only time your sitch is hopeless is when YOU give up, and that is okay. If you have not given up then you can be full of hope.

I have said it many times, but my H moved to a different state with OW and they had a baby, and I lost every thing but hope and this board and it took him a while, but he came home. Trust the process.

You are not ready to hear this, especially today, but you asked what you will do once W moves out. The answer is pretty awesome...WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!

In the coming weeks you will prove to yourself that it is really true. Our WAS's cant make us happy or sad, only we have the power to do that. They can make us happier, but we have to find a way to make ourselves happy first.

4 months ago I had no clue I loved, loved loved dancing. Now, it would be unbearable for me not to go out and dance. Your real true loves are waiting for you to find them.

Take every day now and force fun. At first forcing will be a chore. The ghost of your W will haunt EVERYTHING. Force that fun anyway. Play music and shake your booty when you do the dishes. Watch a comedy when you feel like crying.

Find ANYTHING that is a positive and build up as many positives as you can. It really really helps, when the depression hits and you are so lonely and you miss your W so much it feels like actual pain and a mountain of it to have any positives you can force your brain to look at. Your child's smile is a powerful one. Set a goal to accomplish what you now think you cant. Your mind will strat working out ways to hit that goal without you knowing it. That brainpower will not be there to wallow over W.

Yes, she will attack your brain CONSTANTLY for a little bit yet, but if you start now, you will significantly lessen the time it takes to not think of her always, in everything you do.

Look for baby steps from you right now, and NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from her. Let her twist and turn in the wind. She is no longer your responsibility.

You have been given the gift of time. Use it wisely.