Mr. Fantastic has told D12 (not me) that now that he's getting ready to move into a house rather than his 2BR apartment that he'd like to have her keyboard, which has been in my basement waiting for her to return to piano lessons. He also asked me for an iPad that had been used by S7 but has been replaced by a newer one for the little guy. I actually have a use for the old iPad, but mostly I'm tired of him not seeing that we are DIVORCED and his days of shopping for free stuff at my house are OVER.
I actually am open to giving him the keyboard because it doesn't look like D12 is going back to lessons (she stopped for a while because we left California, but I've never been able to get her to go back), but I don't want to give it to him because I feel like that opens the door to him just asking for stuff (like the iPad).
Complicating this is the fact that he scheduled a plane trip back from a business trip in such a way that he will be at least an hour late picking the kids up for his weekend and it is messing up my Friday evening plans. He had given me notice that this would be the case (told, not asked...) and I'd like to make it clear that I will not tolerate this every time he has a trip -- he has four coming up and it's not fair that they should interfere with my free time.
Finally.... things with New Guy have intensified and I'd like to be able to spend more time with him. My kid schedule makes that very difficult, and I feel guilty about the conflict between being a good, present mom for them and wanting to spend time with someone who has demonstrated that he cares for me and that he wants to spend time with me. Seeing how Mr. Fantastic's dating life impacts the kids' emotions has made me super aware of their needs and I do NOT want to cause them any more pain or anxiety because of my relationship... but on the other hand, he spends FOUR days a month with them and I spend 26 days a month with them, and so how do I balance between my needs and theirs?
Any advice on these two (three?) issues would be very greatly appreciated.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
