Ugghhh, have I mentioned this is hard?

[Chris82]

Hang in there..

I am in the same position as you. Fill your time with your children and making changes in your life for you. I deal with the fact that my W is so cold to me on the phone and it's painful to think of her bubbly and laughing with someone else. But the proof if insignificant. If she hasn't agreed to cease coms with the OM and she isn't making an attempt to make you feel loved and a priority again, I'd take anything she says with a grain of salt.

It's good to hear you're venturing back to church. I would warn you though, do it for you. Spirituality can make you do some things that might set you back in your progress if you aren't careful.

My pastor and I sat and spoke the other day and he advised me to "love my wife through her struggles." I know that being too friendly with her and giving her the feeling that I will always be there could be damaging. I learned after praying for her that that actually meant loving her as God loves us all and praying for her... but from afar.

You should focus on making the changes in your life that God sees fit to make YOU a better man for your LIFE. That is the ONLY sure fire win you'll be guaranteed out of this. Put your faith in God and He will use you how he sees fit and it will be good.

She might see this.. and It may affect her. But remember, you aren't dealing with a woman that wants anything to do with church right now. My W would avoid a pastor like a plague right now and has made it clear. They can run from their problems with us.. But they can't run from the deep feeling they know inside of their affair being wrong.

Work on you man.. You are the one with the moral upper hand.. Flex it, but do it to sharpen yourself as a man in becoming the best you you can even imagine. Good luck!