WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE

[Zues126]

Where did the talk of the no-contact letter come in to the conversation?

Did she come to you with remorse and regret, apologetic for the affair, at rock bottom, looking to do anything and everything she could to save the marriage?

Or are you trying to steer her down this road by showing her what you want from her?

No one should ever 'not agree' to a no-contact letter...because it shouldn't be suggested until you know they will say yes. Anything earlier than that is pursuit and controlling behavior. As is the constant apologizing. It is laced with expectation, either of her forgiveness, or her apologizing back, or of her to follow your lead now that you are a wise spiritual leader in the household in your own mind.

Again, not sure if she's done or said some things that led you to talking about NC letters and going out as a family, but from what I'm seeing she is not recommitting to the M, and anything she's said to that effect is manipulation from an addict to avoid consequences.