Thank you, everyone. Let me answer the main question you all seem to have. The reason I'm not up in arms about my e-mail is layered:
1) Nothing he does surprises me anymore. 2) If he did it, the damage is done. I can't "undo" it. 3) I just don't care anymore. He's beaten me down to the point I don't have it in me to be overly upset. 4) He won't have found anything in my e-mail that would indicate I am "out to get him" - the opposite, in fact. I have no secrets to hide. I don't lie to him.
I'm ready to move on - as much as I can be. He's disappointed me to the point I can hardly look at him. I'm being nice and pleasant for now. I don't intend to have anything to do with him once I'm out of here.
I don't think that is his goal - but that's a problem for another day. I need healing, and need certain things from him so that I can do that. That's all I want anymore. I'm ready to be done, and move forward.
GAL? What is this you speak of? LOL Sadly, not much GAL lately - but in my defense, I've been pretty sick with something. It's probably stress, because I have no fever - but lots of nausea and vomiting, chills and body aches.
The stress is due to the fact my criminal case is next week. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I try not to think about it or talk about it, but I know it's coming - I'm a bit freaked out. I've been trying to contact my L on that case, and am not getting a response - so I'm feeling uneasy. I'll try again tomorrow. They have a busy practice, so the fact I haven't heard back is more than likely benign.
To be fair, my defense L thinks this will be easy. But it's my life, I've never been in trouble before, and I'm not as laid-back as he is. I am so ready for this to be over!
