To this day W can't remember it ever happening. I dealt with it internally by myself. Insecurities were there.
Yes, my H can't remember the things he did and said either from his last crisis. He used to go two or more weeks at a time without seeing our S who was 2 at the time, he can't remember that, he's convinced he came every other day to see him. The hurtful things he said to me - nope, he didn't say them!
Originally Posted By: IrishM
Funny thing is , I can laugh at it now... She did and said the exact same things as 9 years ago. It was like I was thrown back in time. I said to myself here I go again. I am not doing this again. Yet here I stand for the woman I love.
Me too! H has said the exact same things. Initially, when he gave me the ILYBNILWY and I never will be again speech I pointed that out to him. "You said exactly the same words 9 years ago, yet you managed to love me again for 9 years." As you say, if it wasn't so painful and tragic it would be funny. This time is different apparently. He knows he feels far worse than last time (even though he can't remember last time!). Crazy!
Originally Posted By: IrishM
I am sure they feel the hurt they cause deep down. The way my W can't look at me when we talk... She has so much guilt and she's ubable to stop. I'm sure your H is the same.
Sometimes my H can't look me in the eyes, but just lately, like the last few days where he was cooking, cleaning etc like old times, he looked like he was struggling to suppress a smile or laugh every time he looked at me. Maybe all the cooking etc was some sick game of his.
Originally Posted By: IrishM
I'm not saying this so you can feel sorry for H. I'm saying it so you disconnect from him. Let him fix himself .
Thanks Irish, I need reminding of this often. This is so hard. The first second I wake up every day I feel like I get slapped in the face and punched in the stomach with the realisation of it.
