Battles of the sexes?

[JulieH]

Zues, I think your interpretation about my husband is correct. He is really mad because he thinks the court was spite since I took so long to even cash the checks. Our conversation was peppered with anger, but we agreed on issues like the needs and miscommunication. I apologized for not talking to him before I filed (I had already apologized) We left off with meeting up for birthday celebration with kids. He said we have to talk about how we are going to proceed and that he was waiting to get past the anger over the court date. I am going to give him number for coach (I will be changing name and letting julie threads disappear) I am very fearful of counseling at this point.

We both agreed that we missed havimg each other to talk to.

JellyB, I am feeling unprepared for this next part. I never came close to that calm introspective state I recognize others here are at. I actually don't know how much work I did on myself and will have to think about that another day. Not enough, since still angry.

Inthink you are right about the anger.

I think from now on, I might have to listen to him in a detached way as if I am taking a medical history from someone in order to come up with a possible diagnosis. That's one way I suppose. It's remembering to do this when I am emotionally charged that's the hard part (kind of like remembering to take note of where you put your keys)

How do we get past the anger?

I am greatful for everyone on here. A lot of my family and my best friend thinks I should file. That we are not compatible, too different and they are surprised that we ended up together. They felt like this was my way out and I am only prolonging the agony and in three years we will be down same road.