My lovely I haven't commented on your thread before as I always like to read and take notes.
V is very keen on having an L in D sitches. Get a D specialist.
Go interview a few L find one you like and can work with. I saw 4 before I met my current one.
Keep your ducks in a row, make your communication clear with your L preferably in writing. Go armed with a list of assets and income.
Don't bypass your L it will increase cost in the long run, undoing the damage that you do.
I have no doubt that WH has an L in the background.
My WH is arrogant enough to do his own with the help of a 'friend'.
On this issue play niave "I don't know WH, my L will advise" and "very unsure" and "I feel I want an L"
Agree to nothing without your L.
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Remember your L is one of the few who has your back. This is your future and that of your child. Greedy OW types on the make (WH always affair down) can drain the coffers very quickly and you can be left with an insecure future.
This is business, take the emotion out of it and the thought WH won't like you getting an L will bring him back if you say "please walk all over me and I can live on a pittance, whilst you and OW rock it". Sweetheart he has already D you, sacked you as his W, now he's negotiating redundancy terms. You should be talking share of income and assets including possibly a lien on his future income. Do get mad get practical.
Think of WH and you being in business of creating a family and a life. 50% of that is yours including the future profits of your labours. (Pun intended).
If you want to get grounded research an English Lawyer called Marilyn Stowe for 99p about $1.30 she has a book on practicalities of D. It isn't just UK stuff in it, she includes a section on managing your R with your L to contain cost.
Listen to the advice given to you (and by the way for a new poster A is very grounded, said everything I wanted to say, most eloquently) You only get one shot at this, donot make that shot go into your own foot.
Get your L this is business gf. If it helps think that every sou you keep is one out of OW purse. In addition it takes the nasty away, you can hide behind your L, and just shrug.
This is not personal it's business and your family future.
If you dont protect your familys interests then you can't change your mind later, it can be a done deal and expensive to rectify.
What ever happens in the future is irrelevant, your entitlement and need is now.
Spot on Anc, sweet cycle, it gets much easier to spot as time goes on! Comes with a big here I am placard.
V
Everything you say makes so much sense. I keep moving my boundary for when I've had enough. I'm absolutely terrified the job, I could get with his help, won't work out. I have no clue what I will do then. I will also do everything to make sure we can coexist peacefully for our daughter's sake. I can't imagine not being able to be in the same room as him. I know of people who do drops ofs and pick ups through a third party because they can't stand the sight of one another. I just can't do that to her.
I really don't think my H has a lawyer. He wouldn't spend the money unless he had to. And he probably knows that I would be very reluctant too. (Already consulted with one)
Just caught him in another lie. He is with OW. Spending the night with her before going away for more than a month. Guess it doesn't matter.
Thank you for weighing in, it is very much appreciated.
Mona and Rouky, I just met my friend for lunch. I only know her because we're both going through a divorce. She is further in the process and gives good advice. Thank you for your thoughts. I'm thinking of you two too.
