Need support navigating the change in my marriage

[G8r]

Thank you for the support Trumpet. Your sitch was one of the 1st I started to follow when I was lurking. I'm so happy for you that your W expressed interest in R. I hope things work out for the both of you.

I don't know about the R to a Sexless M though. When my sitch blossomed 5 months ago, my W and I were practicing for another kid. After the 1st time she met the om in person, she dropped our sex life like a bad habit. She said she was willing to work on M but she felt like we were roommates and she couldn't ever envision us having sex again. I vacillated between trying to work on becoming friends again figuring the sex would follow and letting her know that in order to R sex would be part of the equation. That seemed to push her further away and now she says she's repulsed by the idea. I think one of the reasons I pushed the sex so hard is because I really want another child. Don't know if I could afford to have one with another woman and that would be a few years down the road. I feel I'll be too old by then. Grrrrrr.... She's in the same boat though. She wants another kid and feels her clock ticking but right now she is adamant that it won't be with me. I don't really see it happening with the current om though because he is a good 8 to 10 hours away. I won't let her move with my D3 and I don't think he would move closer to us and be away from his 2 kids.

Anyway, I've got lots of work ahead before I can even begin to think about sex with her again.

I can sort of relate to your addiction a bit as well. Until September, I was smoking pot at least 2x a day when walking the dog and often times more. I was able to rationalize it as stress relief. Funny thing is that it caused me a lot more stress hiding it from everyone. Didn't ever think I could quit and I was to ashamed to admit my problem to my W plus I was afraid she would pack up and leave. I can now definitely say that one true blessing that has come from my sitch is that I dropped that habit like it was hot. There's a moment here or there I briefly think about smoking but I can truly say that I really have no desire to go back to it. It made me lonely and the problems I was masking when I started smoking are long gone. I've got a whole new set of problems now that it helped cause. Lol.