Another tough day. I have been doing pretty well not initiating any communication and only responding when a question is asked. My H and I got into a text discussion this morning and he asked if he could call. We really struggle when talking in person and on the phone, so I should have known better, but I talked anyway. It wasn't good. He knows exactly what to say to get me worked up and even though I see it happening I have trouble stopping myself. His main complaint (and the reason he claims for having filed for divorce) is that the way we communicate (yelling at each other according to him) is bad for the kids and he doesn't want to put them through that. I know that my actions will speak way louder than any words I say, but gosh does he know how to trigger me. I've read through the validation thread a few times (and gotten some stock phrases from my IC) but I feel like even when I use them the situation escalates. I know I can only control me. I know I should just end the conversation and walk away, but when I try to do that he just says that's what I always did and that's why we can't be together. He's right...that's what I always did, so am I just doing more of the same? What am I missing here?
M: Early 40s H: late 30s 2 kids under 10 M: 15 yrs BD: 7/14 S: 10/14
