Here again after 9 years and struggling 2

[inpain]

Because we love them and have given them so much. It feels like if we give up, it'll be like we have wasted our life with them.

Yes, I think you're right! I think I do feel like that. I feel like it destroys every happy memory and everything we ever did. Makes me feel like every loving thing he ever did was a lie. Of course, I know that isn't exactly true, at least not at first anyway. But then again...we had been married 6 years when the first BD and OW happened so who knows. Maybe the following 9 years were all a huge lie on his part. I feel like my world is caving in on my tonight and have that feeling of someone sitting on my chest. Wish I could detach.

I'm so sorry to hear about your kids' disappointment. I know it's hurting them, but in the long run they will recognise that you were their rock and the only person who has been there through thick and thin.

Right again! I think they already are. They are starting to say things about him and they haven't come from me, the one thing I am doing is making sure I'm very careful not to say things about him. Mind you, it is all forgotten as soon as he walks in the door. Which is as it should be for them but even so it is painful to see.

I'm serious about that coffee if you are in England :-). Scotland, Wales are a bit too far for me :-)

Yes, that would be too far for me too!