Yes to both. But I'm not convinced she's sticking to the plan. I'm torn because I really want to grab her phone and look for evidence (with her knowing) and get everything out in the open. At the same time, I'm worried they'll just find another way to keep at it. Then again, if I'm right it's not exactly like that would be a change....
Transparency doesn't keep her from finding another way to make contact with the OM. She can go to any computer, buy a secret cell phone, etc. The point of transparency is to assure you by allowing you to see her messages, and to help her by giving accountability. When we have someone watching us, we tend to do what she should. Transparency shines the light on her activity. However, it isn't foolproof. I encourage transparency, b/c I know it helped me when I was going through the withdrawals. I maintain that if a woman doesn't have something to hide, why would she fight her H from seeing that she is staying faithful?
Again, transparency agreement is no guarantee that the A has ended or that it will prevent her from finding a way to contact AP.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
