First of all it's completely reasonable for you to go out of town if you want to. To me that's beside the point. You don't know him an explanation that whatever you are doing on those days is just as valid as what he would be doing. I would be tempted to simply reply that you had planned on his having your daughter on those days, and that while you want to be flexible, you won't be able to help out this time.
And as to this .........
Originally Posted By: claire7
This has been our dynamic-- his position is logical and reasonable; mine is not.
At this point who cares if he thinks his position is reasonable and yours is not?
And all of that being said ...... It seems like there are lots of scheduling issues in your sitch. You might want to spend some time thinking about how accommodating you want to be overall. In my situation, I hate the patchwork childcare plans my XH puts together when a problem comes up during his time. The discomfort of worrying about where they are outweighs the comfort I would get by having a break, so for now, I usually bail him out. It sounds to me though, in your situation, that he's just complaining about the expense involved.
