A good while back now, there was a thread that heavily debated "tone" of the written word and who is responsible for that tone.
The writer or the reader.
While a writer can do things that indicate tone, like use descriptive words, italics, bolding, etc...
The reality is that the final meaning placed on the written word lies with the reader.
In your case, you are unhappy with your H, you have many many negative (some I'm sure justified) feelings regarding him, you expect to hear nastiness from him...
So THAT is what you read in his words.
I don't disagree, his second text sounded like a man who is at the end of his rope.
I want you to consider the first text differently.
IF you thought your H was happy...you would have received it as a more positive message.
You keep saying you are confused...it is obvious that you are.
One of the things that makes dealing with these situations easier is simply stepping back and looking at the situation like you are an outsider instead of involved directly in it.
Around here, one of the things that used to be preached a lot was the 48 hour rule. If something occurs, instead of instantly reacting from emotion, do nothing for 48 hours. Then reevaluate the situation and see if you still feel the same way. Then you decide what to do.
Let's talk about something a little different.
How did doing whatever your plans were last night (email I believe you said) make you feel?
Good, bad, indifferent? While you were doing it, did you spend more of the time wondering what he was doing and thinking or were you busy?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
