My wife is passive-aggressive, and once she was in full-blown EA, treated me like dirt. Also, her behavior is like your wife's... angry, I can do no right, you do more than you used to, but it isn't good enough, wants me to date other people, calling herself a whore... it goes on and on. It's her moral compass yelling at her - what she is doing is wrong, and she should stop... the problem, like your selenoid, is that there is a glitch in the system, a very bad glitch, in which the heart refuses to listen to the brain, as well as the moral compass. The little angel on her shoulder is gagged, bound, and in the trunk of the car.
You need to learn your WW is spewing, and it's her own personal conflict, manifesting itself in anger to you. You remind her of the good stuff, the fantastic, caring father, the person who helped her get her PHD, and moved when it was time. It's easier for you to move out - so see stops seeing the destruction she's causing.
It's harder on you, but more effective to stay in the same house. You have to do lots of reading, understand detachment backwards and forwards, and enact a plan to not only protect you, but to show your WW what she's missing.
Sleeping around encouraged - sure! It would make herself feel better that you're the worse person - makes it easy to file a D, right?
My WW, when I've GAL'd, and detached, has thought I started to see someone. My wife is a conservative Christian. Her moral compass is gagged right now. Hog tied. But once in a while her little angel whispers what she's doing is wrong, and she hears it.
If you read up on my sitch, the angel is starting to get heard more. My wife supposedly put a stop to the D that she filed - I didn't get served. How did it happen? Not by anything I did, let me tell you. When I started to REALLY focus on myself, the kids, and not her AT ALL, she noticed. It hurt really bad to do, since I still love her, but telling her whatever happens I'll be ok, and I'm moving forward got to her.
Your WW mentioning you didn't respond quickly enough? It's spew. Don't even pay attention to it. Your wife's body is now enhabited by an alien. Treat her as such, just don't physically harm her. Let her do the punching - and take pictures.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
