I think some space to clear your head is a good idea. Don't rush to make any permanent decisions about your R while you're feeling so emotional.
Just some thoughts I had while reading your post...have you told him straight up what you need to see from him? I.e., "While I realize we both played a part in the state of our R that led to OW, I need you to take responsibility for your share?" Or, "While I do the work of relearning to trust, I need you to help me by being transparent with your phone (or taking off the password, or whatever it is that he does that bugs you)."
My H and I had a conversation like that at one point. He had made general statements about changes he would like to see in our M, and I'd followed every request as I understood them. But his statements were vague, and he was making a lot of assumptions that I understood what he was asking for, when I was largely only guessing. We kept getting into arguments where he would throw out my latest action as "proof I never listened to him and things would never change," at which point I got frustrated and told him to just D me, because I had done nothing BUT listen and try to work towards meeting his needs. To his credit, H thought about it and realized he hadn't been clear about expressing his needs, and was expecting me to do a lot of mind reading. We were able to talk and go from there.
If you ask your SO directly for the things you need and he still won't do it for you, your choice is made for you. But make sure he actually knows what he needs to do to.
